“She’ll be just like her dad when she grows up,” or “she doesn’t know how to be social or talk to people.” Common quotes I would hear from my relatives as an 8 year old kid. Can you expect all 8 year old children to be extroverted and talkative? No! Condescending tones is what I would hear a lot of growing up in middle and high school with statements like “you know when we were kids we used to be involved a lot in school with drama club and things.” Little did they know that those condescending statements are what caused me to further my introverted with low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I was always a shy kid with very little or no friends.
All these years of criticizing me made me feel like I was garbage, had no value, good for nothing and no talents. I felt like I was useless and the phrase that my dad used to tell me came back into me head- that I was “good for nothing.” Being constantly compared to other kids my age growing up made me feel like I always have to compete with something or someone else. “___ got their permit already, ____ got their license already, ___ got into good programs at colleges, ____ finished school in accelerated programs, ___ got a good job making loads of money, ____ already moved out and got their own apartment.” Each statement was like I was a failure because I didn’t get there in time. No matter how many talents people may say I have, it never satisfies me. It’s like it has no value in my head because what’s built in my head is that I am not successful or talented and just constantly fail.